Telemundo Does the IE

One day before this article was scheduled to run in the Inland Empire Weekly, reporter Mirthala Salinas resigned from Telemundo. The article was never published.

As rare as it is for we at the IE Weekly to hand out kudos to other news outlets, we feel we owe a debt of gratitude to Telemundo for sending us their favorite comfort reporter -- the sultry and sexy Mirthala Salinas.

Salinas, you may recall, was a rising star at the Spanish-language network's KVEA-TV Channel 52 until news broke in July of her affair with L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. The shocking disclosure (well, to everyone but Telemundo -- Salinas' indiscretion was apparently an open secret at the network, as were her earlier tumbles with Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez and former L.A. City Councilman Alex Padilla) was all the more shocking because of a strange coincidence. Salinas had just a month earlier reported the news of Villaraigosa's breakup from his wife of 20 years without so much as hinting that she -- the sultry and sexy Salinas -- was the probable cause of that estrangement.

Following a painstaking internal investigation that magically wrapped up after the L.A. Times ran an article criticizing Telemundo's failure to act on the scandal, Telemundo acted. Salinas was suspended without pay for two months. And to show just how serious they were about conflict-of-interest violations, Telemundo executives on Sept. 25 announced they were further chastising the sultry and sexy Salinas by transferring her from KVEA's Los Angeles studio to -- ouch! -- its Inland Empire bureau in Riverside.

Thanks, Telemundo! Sure, it's a bit galling that in this day and age, you still see the IE as a great big penalty box instead of the thriving region of 4 million people that it is, but that's OK. Send us your wayward but oh-so sultry and sexy on-air personalities! We'll find her something to do!

Ms. Salinas, we at the Weekly want to be the first Inland journalists to welcome you to our beautiful community. Come on down to our office in Corona and you'll find every guy here -- from the suave and impeccably dressed publisher (Jeremy Zachery -- 951-284-0120) to the energetic new managing editor (Chuck Mindenhall -- careful, Mirthala, he's married -- wink) to the lowliest unpaid intern -- are positively aching to make you feel right at home.

The ladies here -- maybe not so much.

But who are we kidding? It's pretty obvious given your recent dating history that you prefer strong and influential men of the Latino variety. Not to worry, Ms. Salinas! We've got powerful Latinos in the IE, too. Sure, the lot of them don't wield half as much political influence as Villaraigosa or Nunez on a bad day, but that's a good thing. Think about it, Mirthala: No more diving under the dashboard when those pesky paparazzi come around. This is the IE! We don't have paparazzi!

So, without further ado, let's introduce the sultry and sexy Mirthala Salinas to her new dating pool:

Our first candidate is a broad-shouldered, bushy eyebrowed hunk who served his country honorably both as a U.S. Marine and meat department manager for Alpha Beta. His turn-ons are storm drainage improvements, mixed-use development and long walks on moonlit beaches. And best of all, he's married! Mirthala, give it up for Colton City Councilman for District 1 David J. Toro!

Asked whether the news that Salinas was coming to town had him feeling all a'twitter, Toro replied: "I'm married and that's not anything I'd be interested in."

Hmm. Unavailable, or just playing coy?

Our next candidate is an up-and-comer who recently made waves when he cast the deciding vote to bring a medical marijuana dispensary to his city. He enjoys smart economic development through innovative planning, better programs for youths and seniors, and having his feet rubbed after a long, hard day serving his constituents. His turn-offs are rude people and war. Mirthala, put on your sultriest and sexiest smile for Claremont City Councilman Sam Pedroza!

"After seeing me, if Ms. Salinas looked twice I'd be surprised," lilts the boyishly handsome-esque Pedroza. "This isn't something I can really get involved in, but she's very beautiful."

Don't be fooled by Sam's demurring style, Mirthala. The guy's got class, vision, and a set of testacles bigger than all the Democrats in Congress put together, if his marijuana vote is any indication.

Next on the runway in our Hispanic pageant is an old hand at Inland politics -- and when we say old, we don't just mean his hand. At 68, he's definitely a bit long in the tooth (but on the plus side, he's been around the block enough times to know how to get a real woman to the Promised Land). A retired Navy captain, his hobbies are eliminating traffic gridlock and providing a real voice for seniors in local government. Mirthala, let's hear it for Calimesa City Councilman Ray Quinto!

When asked whether Salinas' imminent arrival had him ironing those chinos and shopping for new cologne, Quinto was a bit nonplussed.

"I don't see very well, and I really don't understand why anyone would suggest that you call me," says Quinto in that lush Latino accent that makes the ladies swoon. "I know very little of this lady, so I just don't know. I'm not going to modify my behavior, like shopping for new clothes or getting or haircut in order to be in a better position to meet her or do anything to make our relationship a more personal one. I will do what I always do, which is serve the citizens who elected me."

If that doesn't make you want to move to Calimesa, Mirthala, nothing will.

As you can see, the Inland Empire has a wealth of Latino politicians to conflict your journalistic interests. We also approached City Councilman Pete Aguilar of Redlands ("I can't take the bait on this -- I'm on the ballot in November") and Richard Delarosa, councilman for District 2 in Colton ("This is an L.A. issue"). We even talked to City Councilman Neil Derry, who isn't Latino, but lives in San Bernardino -- and that's enough for us. We'd hoped to get Rep. Joe Baca of Rialto to participate, but his press secretary heard us say "Mirthala Salinas" and screamed.

Unfortunately, none of the elected officials we called expressed interest in dating a sultry and sexy general assignment reporter any time soon, citing such piddling concerns as "marriage" and "voter approval." They'll miss out on the grand prize, but at least they'll be able to console themselves with our lovely parting gifts of personal integrity and self-respect.

But don't worry, Ms. Salinas. Given your history of, not one, but three instances of cozying up with your sources, you're bound to find that perfect elected someone to help while away those long nights piecing back together the shard ends of your career. If there's one thing we're sure of, you'll do it again. Why? Because any other journalist in your shoes would have resigned in disgrace months ago. You? You're hanging in there, toughing it out, raising in your own unique way those bars for the rest of us.

Thanks, Telemundo!