This humor piece was written as a possible submission to The New Yorker magazine's "Shouts and Murmurs" section. It was never sent.
Due to an editorial error, Tuesday's story on local water purity levels ("City water safe to drink," Life & Style section) inaccurately described the operational status of Municipal Filtration Plant Nos. 1, 2 and 3. City water is not safe to drink. The Weekly regrets the error.
Also on Tuesday, columnist Buddy Neuman's article, "Tell us where it hurts, Rudy!", contained two inaccuracies. State Sen. Rudolph Johnson (D-Poughkeepsie) has never been admitted to Bellevue Presbyterian Hospital's Urgent Care Center for a groin injury, nor are farming implements available to rent at city civil union ceremonies. The Weekly regrets these errors, too.
Due to an apparent "triple-dog dare" between two former pressroom operators, the following obituaries were run Monday in error: Mrs. Wilomina H. Conroy, 72, of Poughkeepsie; Gen. George A. Custer (U.S. Army, ret.), 38, of New Rumley, Ohio; and Mr. Juan E. Valdez, 65, of Bogota, Columbia. General Custer died in 1876, while Mr. Valdez was a fictional character portrayed by Columbian artist Carlos Sanchez, who is alive. Wilomina Conroy, mother of Weekly pressroom shift foreman Edgar Conroy, is also alive. We at the Weekly regret these errors.
Also on Monday, Publisher Brady B. Bulligan's note to our readers ("To Our Readers, Our Regrets, A1) inaccurately reported the percentage portion of the hidden message found by circling every capital letter in Sunday's front-page headlines. The correct message was "Brady screwed his headline writers out of the four percent guaranteed in our current contract." The Weekly regrets this error, while maintaining our posture of regret as outlined by Mr. Brady in his note Monday to our readers.
Due to an editorial error, Tuesday's story on local water purity levels ("City water safe to drink," Life & Style section) inaccurately described the operational status of Municipal Filtration Plant Nos. 1, 2 and 3. City water is not safe to drink. The Weekly regrets the error.
Also on Tuesday, columnist Buddy Neuman's article, "Tell us where it hurts, Rudy!", contained two inaccuracies. State Sen. Rudolph Johnson (D-Poughkeepsie) has never been admitted to Bellevue Presbyterian Hospital's Urgent Care Center for a groin injury, nor are farming implements available to rent at city civil union ceremonies. The Weekly regrets these errors, too.
Due to an apparent "triple-dog dare" between two former pressroom operators, the following obituaries were run Monday in error: Mrs. Wilomina H. Conroy, 72, of Poughkeepsie; Gen. George A. Custer (U.S. Army, ret.), 38, of New Rumley, Ohio; and Mr. Juan E. Valdez, 65, of Bogota, Columbia. General Custer died in 1876, while Mr. Valdez was a fictional character portrayed by Columbian artist Carlos Sanchez, who is alive. Wilomina Conroy, mother of Weekly pressroom shift foreman Edgar Conroy, is also alive. We at the Weekly regret these errors.
Also on Monday, Publisher Brady B. Bulligan's note to our readers ("To Our Readers, Our Regrets, A1) inaccurately reported the percentage portion of the hidden message found by circling every capital letter in Sunday's front-page headlines. The correct message was "Brady screwed his headline writers out of the four percent guaranteed in our current contract." The Weekly regrets this error, while maintaining our posture of regret as outlined by Mr. Brady in his note Monday to our readers.
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